World's Largest Ball of Twine Tour

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What the heck is a "Ball of Twine"?

First off, it's "World's Largest Ball of Twine," or can be shortened to "WLBoT."

At its simplest form, a WLBoT is just a purpose for a ride. The term was taken from the typical roadside tourist trap.

It can be further defined, for our riding purposes:

  1. The primary function of a "World's Largest Ball of Twine" is to provide a destination for a ride, not the visit itself.
  2. A "World's Largest Ball of Twine" can be defined as an off-the-beaten-path destination or attraction that meets at least 2 of these requirements:
    1. Cheesy
    2. Tourist-Trappy
    3. Have Haunted or Extra-Terrestrial overtones
    4. Historically significant to something insignificant
      1. For example, a “George Washington Slept Here” sign does not fit, while a “George Smith Slept Here” or “George Washington Shat Here” sign would.
    5. Just plain unique in some strange fashion
  3. A "visit" to a site is defined as any of the following:
    1. Entering the "World's Largest Ball of Twine"
    2. Photographing us with the "World's Largest Ball of Twine", or
    3. Stopping to look at the "World's Largest Ball of Twine" and making fun of it
  4. A "World's Largest Ball of Twine" counts only if both founding members visit together via motorcycle.
    1. In the event of illness/injury to a founding member, a "World's Largest Ball of Twine" visit will also count if one tour member along with two or more non-members, who must also arrive via motorcycle.
  5. Others may join the visit, but must also attend by motorcycle, and may not complain about the destination, route to/from the destination, or activities along the way.
  6. "World's Largest Balls of Twine" with extra coolness may be revisited, but do not count as additional destinations.
  7. At least one "World's Largest Balls of Twine" should be visited per month between May and September (full-on riding season), inclusive.

 

 

 

Who are we?

PurpleMongoose

2007 Suzuki Bandit 1250S

Evil Twin

2006 Honda Shadow 600

2015 Kawasaki Concours 14

 

 

Why do we do this strange thing?

 

Let's face it. Finding new roads, and seeing new things is cool.

Cool is about 90% of motorcycling. We don’t do it for ourselves, though. Imagine how it would suck for the rubes if they didn’t get to bask in our coolth. It seems incredible, but their lives would be even more dreary. We are humanitarians.

Or….are we just cruel? Giving them a taste of the awesome that could come into their lives, then giggling and yanking it away as we cruise out of their drudgery in search of something mildly more interesting?

Yes, we are cruel to the rubes because without warning we roar, clad in glory, into the banality of their lives and then, just as suddenly, vanish in search of another tawdry roadside attraction. Yet, we are still doing them a kindness because we raise their eyes, if only for a moment, from the muck and they know that higher, more beautiful things do exist.

We are, if you will, like sparks fallen from Heaven itself. We brighten their lives; it doesn’t matter that it is only for a moment. They will treasure the memory and talk of us in reverent tones for the rest of their lives.

 

 

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